As i bumped in to a couple of friends from Gothenburg it got all too clear too me how i am now a stranger even to that life.
I am between lives!
I dont belong or feel at home here and i feel totally cut off from where i was and what i was too.
It´s like i´m tainted by where i live.
Like it has rubbed off.
I believe that you DO get affected by your environment, though that can be for good too (good and bad often being quite subjective ).
Even at my worst i felt MORE then than i do now. I mattered. I wouldnt be missed, ignored or forgotten.
None of the main ingredients to my life are present now so am i really alive or is this place my tomb?
Btw, i have spent all nights, hour after hour playing Sherwood Dungeon and Rune Scape and it´s easy to feel how unsound it is.
In the absence of a real life i´ll have to take what i get.
They say “you can never go back” and i do believe that it is so.