The Devotee´s Dilemma


A problem for me with religion is that i´m actually very devout.

That means disapointment gets bigger too.

An effort to do ones best, and perhaps then some, followed by the disapointment of nothingness.

From a Thelemic viewpoint one might see this as a perfect time for preparing for the annihilation of the false soul / ego before entering the city of pyramids but my experience with life is that all acts remains unrewarded.

FAILING to kill that superflous part of self while entering the abyss would be catastrophal.

A preparatory shedding of illusion of self might however be less catastrophal.

All spiritual things are starting to leave me tired.

Yet, it is not within my personality to be totally apatheistic or atheistic.

I am a very ritualistc person.

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