Am I A Professional Coward?

I have long wondered if i havent learned a behaviour where it is easier to have a dream than to actually do something and get that dream shot to hell.

It is possable that i picked that up in Ireland as i realized how little personal skills, qualities or knowledges actually matter.

So here i am, dreaming away, even practicing but avoiding doing the real thing.

I have a coach i want to train with.

I know exactly what i want but also that it is highly competetive.

To sum it up, if i cant even work in a bar, how can i dream of something really great….something that really matters to me?

So much easier to simply think “One day”.

The coach i want will cost money (but is well renowned).

Another problem is, there are fewer auditions here.

Regardless, if i move back to Gothenburg i have promised myself to do something besides “thinking”.

I will possably add dancing and singing to it too.

There are certain techniques i prefer and this coach is actually teaching them/working with them.

So why the damn hesitation?

There is also social life.

It was great when i was living in Gothenburg but has been more or less non existant since i moved here.

Will i get a new one or be desillusioned?

CAN i even interact with people anymore?

Have my own standards changed?

I am finally in a situation where i could actually do the things i want, and here i sit.

I want into a venture where the word “No” is much in use and even more so here.

It is also a miliue where subjective judgement is far more common, simply because there is little alternative.

What i´m affraid of is hardly no at an audition.

As far as i see it no at an audition is part of the job.

I guess it is more the fear of simply not getting anywhere for no appearant reason. Something i have a familliarity with in situations where far more objectivity could have helped.

Thinking “Maybe i´m not good enough” is bad, thinking “Maybe i wont be taken seriously regardless of performance” is worse.

Forn Sed – The Fennoscandic Perspective

Perhaps one thing i can observe in Scandinavian Forn Sed (exept for the temporal, non emphasis on the “Viking Age”) is a perspective that is more Fennoscandic.

There are discussions on wether the Sámi influenced the magic known as “Sidr” or not and i get the feeling that people outside of Scandinavia might see the different linguistic and ethnic groups as more historically “distinct” than they are.

They are different linguistic branches but they are also living next door.

During parts of our history (Sweden was a “superpower” for a while) both Finland and Estonia where parts of  the Swedish empire.

To a Swede it is only natural that both Finnish and Sámi influences are very present in our language and culture since long back.

An area close to where i live is called “Finnveden” (“The Finn  Woods”) because it was inhabited by forrest Finns.


There are three major official languages in Sweden, the same as in Finland: Swedish,Finnish and Sámi.

There are loanwords between all three and in some cases loanwords have even come back to the original language.

One such case being the cityof Haparanda in Sweden, the name is a loan from the Finnish “Haapa Ranta” (“Aspen Beach”).

“Ranta” in turn is a loanword from the Swedish “Strand” (“Beach”).

So, from Swedish to Finnish and back to Swedish again.

Seite, Sidr and so on

When it comes to religion and cult practices one might draw conclusions from the likness of “Seidr” and the Sámi “Seite”.

Stabben: A siedi(worshiped stone) inBalsfjord.

Seite is a word from Sámi religion but is more a matter of a natural idol than a methodology or discipline. It is often a large rock, oddly shaped tree or other natural formation.

The symbol of goddessBeaivi, hypostasis of the Sunand breeder of mankind. It’s also the pattern for tradtional Sami ritual drums.

The Noaide (“Shaman” in lack of a better term) IS however using a Bodhran like drum and a singing voice (there  is a distinct Sámi way of singing called “Joik”) and i imagine contemporary practitioners of “neo seidr” see “utesittning” (“sitting out”) a bit in that fashion (Shamanic trance work).

Solveig Andersson, jojk “bjiejjie”

Some have speculated that Galdr may be influenced by Joik but the same has been done with Kulning / Kauking and that sounds very different and has a different vocal technique.

Kulning / Kauking (Sweden / Norway)

However, trying to produce some artificial “separateness” between the languages because they are not related (ignoring region as a factor) is simply denying connections that are there acording to any etymologist i have read.

The Sámi God Horagalles is often also called Tiermes.

Sami people worshipping Horagalles or Tiermes. Copper engraving by Bernard Picart from Cérémonies et coutumes religieuses de tous les peuples du monde(1723–43)
Horagalles is also called Thoragalles and have been called Thoron or quite simply Thor.
He is described as wielding a hammer (sometimes two), creating thunder and fighting the obstructing powers, protecting man. He often has a nail or piece of flint in his head (my own speculation draws paralells to the shard from Hrungnirs weapon left in Thors forehead).
“Horagalles” pretty much means Þórr Karl (Thor Man).
The fact that Sámi is an Ural language and Norse a Germanic one has no real bearing (nor any arguments for them being different cultures. They are still in the same region).
The Finnish “God of thunder” is called Perkele, probably connected to Perkunas. He too has a hammer is connected to oaks and so forth.
Now, Perkunas is Baltic, not Uralic.
The Sámi moon goddess is named “Mano”.
Who influenced whom, when,if and how is open to speculation but to pretend there are no likenesses is simply being obstinate.
In all fairness totally unrelated cultures, like the African Dahomey and Yoruba cultures also have a world pillar and an axe wielding “God of thunder” (Xangó / Changó) but there there is no regional closeness or etymological connections (obviously).
One must remember that the Sámi are indigenous to this region and where here before there even was a distinct Germanic culture or language.
It is perhaps (?) easy to think of the Sámi as some native nomads inhabiting some corner of Fennoscandia but in reality their traditional land took up (about) half of todays Sweden and Norway and Norse people would have been in frequent contact with them.

The area traditionally inhabited by the Sami people.

Sweden in the 12th century before the incorporation of Finlandduring the 13th century.

They would have been in southern Norway already ca.8300 BC – 7300 BC as the Fosna/Hensbacka cultures.
Archeology shows that people reached Utjoki in Finnish Lapland around  8100 BC.
The Germanic culture didnt come into being until around 1800 BC.

Map of the Nordic Bronze Age culture, around 1200 BCE

During the Iron Age and Viking Age there was heavy taxation on the Sámi by the Norse.
It is believed that a lot of Sámi where assimilated into Norse culture.
There are no proof of direct battles but there are folkloric sources naming the “Stalo”, interpreted by preacher Laestadius as Vikings, that where hostile.
There is research ongoing that might prove the first pre glacial, Neandethal finds in the Nordic countries.
Otherwise people of the Kunda and Swiderian cultures reached Finland as the ice withdrew ariound 9000 BCE and are believed to be the ancestors of the Finns and the Sámi.
Written history in Finland starts after a Swedish conquest. Iron Age is considered to have lasted 500 BC until c.1150 AD, by what time the Swedes where present.
There where Viking settlements in Finland and a lot of both commercial contact as well as plundering since pre Christian times.
There was Swedish rule in Finland through Birger Jarl since around 1249 (Second Swedish Crusade).
Wars with Finns are described in the Sagas and in legends (though “Finland” or “Finns” in this case could mean either what we call Sámi or Finns in this case).
“It happened one summer that King Agne went with his army to Finland, and landed and marauded. The Finland people gathered a large army, and proceeded to the strife under a chief called Froste. There was a great battle, in which King Agne gained the victory, and Froste fell there with a great many of his people. King Agne proceeded with armed hand through Finland, subdued it, and made enormous booty.”
Ynglinga Saga  (taking place in the 4:th century)
Norna Gests Thattr tells of Finnic Kvens and Curonians raiding in Sweden in the 8:th century.
Karelians are blamed for raiding and burning Sigtuna 1187 according to Erics Chronicle 1335.
According to Saxo and Snorri many heroes of Scandinavia had Finnic roots.
According to Egils Saga Norway had conflicts with the Kvens 873.
Divinities (Norse)
Völund (Wayland) is described as the son of a Finnic (Sámi) king in Völundskvida.

The hero Völundr the ‘ruler of the elves’ (vísi álfar), sometimes thought to bedwarves, nicknamed ‘dark elves’ (dökkálfar)
Hilda Ellis Davidson theorizes that Skadi may have had Sámi connections. She is a skier, archer and hunter and a cult in Hålogaland, northern Norway might have thrived because of this (a place where Norse and Sámi people would have lived in close proxemity) and that her split with Njördr might be symbolic of  a similar split between her cult and that of the Vanir.

Skade (1893) by Carl Fredrik von Saltza
All i am really trying to say is that this separateness of the Norse people that seems to be a picture held by some  outside of Scandinavia is usually not the one held by Scandinavians or Nordic people, neither is it shared by scholars.
The Norse people, as far as evidence goes, seems to have been anything BUT separate, especially from those neighbouring them, they where influenced  in both language, clothing, religion, jewlery and a number of other things.
I dont speak for other Nordic or Swedish people but i would be surprised if i cold find even one Swede with an interest in history that could imagine Swedish pre history/history separate from that of Finland and Sápmi.
That naturally spills over in Forn Sed too… being “Forn” and all.
(Finnish, Sámi or other historians / archeologists / anthropologists, feel free to correct anything incorrect here. Especially Stone Age pre history is not my forte).

The Authorative Idiot

You have probably met him (it is often, not always, a “him”).

The little nitwit with a tie and a title that for some mysterious reason thinks he can teach you something about a subject you obviously know a thousand times more about.

The retard with a title.

I am very aware of what i know.

Iam also very aware of the fact that there is a lot i dont know diddley squat about.

I would never correct anyone on how to repair a car or the rules of hockey.

This kind of person, however, is not REALLY the kind who brings society forward.

He is the kind who upholds it.

The one with the traditions and / or ideals, values, titles.

The CEO, the helper, the boss, in short, the accepted one.

He will never cause a paradigm shift.

I was just in a discussion with one of those tie bearers on operatic singing.

He obviously knows nothing about it, i do…..but he wears a tie so empirical proof means nothing.

He continues to try to convince me that singing in a local church choir is a valid substitution for training as a leggiero tenor (which he doesent even know what it is).

There is formal education / training and informal such, this type of guy usually does not have either or even more usually has formal training but in something completely unrelated and somehow thinks his knowledge “spills over” into everything else.

Physicists discussing theology are an example of this. Then again, so are priests discussing sociology (if they dont happen to have knowledge in those fields too ).

I explained how the vocal chords and the larynx works, i explained the artistic differences…..i explained and i explained but… all driven by faith (religous or otherwise) he simply comes back to the same conclusions regardless of presented facts.

Ignorance combined with a title or some similar authority works.

Why mess with it?

I even gave him an example of this put in practice from my own professional life.

I worked as a bartender in Ireland in the 90´s but was replaced (picked out of the bar ) and an 18 year old (Irish….surprise,surprise) boy became bar chief (and thus my “boss”).

This person, being the bar chief AND Irish had to ask me how to make an Irish Coffee (something any Swede could make).

What made him superiour to me was something magical and undefinable, yet to be explained by science called “experience”.

In the restourant business they have this “experience” that seems to be enhanced by big boobs, the right nationality and a few other traits.

It is obviously inert, probably genetic.

It is NOT what normal people call experience since that cant be acquired by doing something you dont know how to do.

“He doesent know any medicine and hasnt studied brain surgery….but he has a lot of experience of performing brain surgery”

In short, i learnt  what wines weant with what and what grapes they where made of, i learnt everything about spirits and destillation, hundreds of beers from all over the world, a couple of hundred cocktails by heart and so on….but….i didnt have “experience”.

That was when i learned that knowledge and skills are meaningless.

When i discuss with a retard of the right ilk i get that confirmed.

If someone has a formal education / training in something that usually means he / she has more knowledge / skill in that subject.

It is however not NECESSARILY so.

Just like an amateur can be better at something than a professional, a person with informal education can know more than one with formal.

But a real academic would go by arguments. He or she would look at your thesis and if you are right you are right (“right” being a very relative term here).

The authorative idiot however is driven by ego and agenda.

He has his programme and like a religous person will stick to it regardless of proof or evidence.

Who gets hurt or crushed, or what dreams or futures (including by extension his own) gets dragged through the mud doesent matter.

He wears a tie.

St:Lucia (Song in Swedish)


Saint Lucia in Sweden (by Vemberain)

A recording of the traditional “Sankta Lucia” song.

You can read about the story of Sankta Lucia dayhere.

Se, på vår tröskel står, vitklädd med ljus i hår, Sankta Lucia, Sankta Lucia.


It is weird!
Being a Heathen one still has feelings to certain celebrations that (at least today) has a clearly Christian motif and miss them if you dont get them.

Today (Dec 13) is the celebration of St:Lucia, celebrated with a singing procession. This ritual goes back to the fact that Sweden was Catholic once (it is Lutheran now) and secular or simply non Christian people often appriciate it too.

There are Heathen remnants in that as with much else here, for instance there are often a couple of “tomtar” in the procession (land vaettir) and pastry referred to as “Lucy cats” (Freya?) are eaten.

In traditional celebrations, Saint Lucy comes as a young woman with lights and sweets. It is one of the few saint days observed in Scandinavia. In some forms, a procession is headed by one girl wearing a crown of candles (or lights), while others in the procession hold only a single candle each.

“Svengelska” herr Bard?

Att klaga på Moas uttal av “torn” är bara naivt och tecken på bristfällig lingvistisk och antropologiskt kunskap herr Bard.

Folk som klagar på “Svengelska” är ofta inte själva särskilt insatta i språkets historia och många varianter.

Engelska är ett av världens största språk (Mandarin är större) och har en massa uttal och tom grammatiska avvikelser (Imbruglia är från Australien. Flera Amerikanska accenter skulle uttala “torn” mer som Moa).
Själv har jag bott i Co Cork, Irland. Där låter folk som aspackade Göteborgare framför en korvmoj kl 5 på morgonen (inte ens andra Irländare förstår dom), men Engelska är det.
Moa kommer att vara en relevant del av musiksverige långt efter att vi har glömt i exakt vilka TV program hon har varit med!

The Celeb Cult

There are those who love to dance.

They cant stop thinking of dancing.

There are those who want to sing.

They cant stop thinking of singing.

There are those who love to act.

They cant stop thinking of acting.

There are those who want to paint.

They cant stop thinking of painting.

And there are those who want to be famous.

They cant stop thinking about people thinking about them.

Är “ageism” den sista accepterade intoleransen?


Jag tänker på intervjun med Björn Skifs och Lennie Norman i “Efter Tio” med Malou Von Siewers.
Björns ord om att det inte fick “bli kladdigt” när han sjung med Agnes på grund av att det var en skillnad i ålder får mig att undra.
Vi är ok med att folk av samma kön gifter sig, att man byter kön (och det borde vi vara med) men inte med att vuxet folk är av olika ålder, iallafall inte om skillnaden är  “för” stor (vad nu det innebär).
Hade dom hållit varandra i händerna och sett varandra i ögonen igenom hela sången så hade inte jag reagerat.
Jag tyckte att dom hade en väldigt fin energi sinsemellan (men det kan ju ha varit den allmänna stämningen).
Och tanken att man skulle klä sig i enlighet med det som var på modet under ens ungdom för att inte riskera att vara patetisk…..det innebär att jag bör ha Michael Jackson jacka, hockeyfrilla, kråsskjorta  och axelvaddar….helst i lila och rosa för att bli tagen på allvar.
Jag känner folk i 20 årsåldern som går klädda i kläder från 20-50 tal men en 60 åring skall alltså inte kunna gå klädd i aktuella kläder?
Ps: Detta är inte en attack mot någon i intervjun, jag gillar både Malou, Björn och Lennie.
Och dessutom tror jag att Agnes hade varit mindre orolig över om det såg “kladdigt” ut än Björn.